No More Cloudy Days
It’s been quite a month. There have been just enough sunny, warm days to remind me that summer is coming, and people will be complaining about how hot it is soon enough. The Dogwoods are in full bloom and buds are beginning to blossom. The threat of a deep depression is lifting, and I am again focusing on gratitude and that which brings me joy.
I find the first quarter of the calendar year to be the most difficult to experience, as Mother Nature sways between cold and wet to warm and dry and back again. I am a fair-weather kind of gal, so each year my mindset is to simply “getting through” winter and most of spring. We are on the home stretch. Hooray.
One of the tactics I have used is to endure (or should I say, survive) these longs months of cold and grey is travel to southern regions that offer a promise of warmer temperatures and bluer skies than this Northern California community, nestled in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada mountains has to offer, but this year, my timing was off… repeatedly. I spent many days in disappointing climates, eventually ceding, and accepting that there are some things I simply cannot change. I surrendered.
Once I gave up on the idea of a sunny vacation destination, I decided to take a trip back to my homeland (a hamlet in upstate New York that can expect about 50 days less sunshine than the national average). I went knowing the likelihood of enjoying a few days of warmth and sunshine was unlikely in April. I planned this trip for another reason and that was to bask in the love of family.
My older and only surviving brother turned 71 and I decided to surprise him on his birthday. I was able to persuade my husband that this would be a good idea and a beneficial use of our time and resources. Why bother with Hawaii or Florida or Mexico when we could take in the sights of a rural community that sits on the banks of the rolling brown Susquehanna River?
Lucky for me, I have an understanding spouse who also loves my brother. Using mileage points for travel, we flew into a city a couple hours away and rented a car. Only one person knew we were on our way – a girlfriend who opened her home to us – so we were on a grand adventure. We stopped for lunch about an hour from town and called to sing him the Happy Birthday song and find out what he was doing to celebrate. Once we had secured his whereabouts, we simply drove there and walked in. It was a huge success. He had no idea and could not believe a) that we were there and b) that we would travel across the country simply to celebrate him.
That is just one of the things I love about my brother. He doesn’t understand how incredible a human being he is. He is selfless and serving. He is dedicated. He has worked hard every day of his life to be a good provider, a great dad, a faithful husband. To say I admire him is an understatement. To say he is one of the best men I have ever met is just the tip of the iceberg.
We quickly began to catch up and fill in the available parts of his schedule with time to visit and drive to some of our old haunts. My husband listened to endless hours of family history and lore as my brother brought out storage containers filled with photographs of relatives I only vaguely remember. My sister-in-law patiently interjecting here and there as she has heard these tales’ countless times.
The trip also served as an opportunity to heal an estranged relationship that has weighed heavily on my heart for over a decade and happily, that came to fruition. I am so grateful to have the healing begin.
As a bonus, we ventured to the International Boxing Hall of Fame which happens to live about an hour from my hometown. This trip was a surprise for my spouse, who was a Golden Gloves boxer in his younger days. It was an enjoyable way to spend a cold, rainy day. The time in the car gave my brother and I even more time together and the museum itself was a remarkable collection of history and memorabilia.
We were only there for a few days but also managed to surprise another lifelong friend before heading back to home – this home—where I have raised my own family and created a life of my own.
Time marches on. I see the years taking their toll on my older siblings (but not on me, I haven’t aged a bit) and that makes me truly cherish the moments we have together to connect and share. We may not be able to erase pain that we have caused but can do our best to make happy memories together moving forward. For sure, we know that one day, we are all going to die so making the most of the time we have is vital.
In life, there are things that happen that we simply cannot change, and like the weather resisting it becomes an exercise in futility, but I remain optimistic that there will be fewer grey days and more sunny days ahead.
xo, Hollie
