Not Alone
Talking with a friend about the many changes in the work environment over these past several years, I said I was so grateful for the remote option. She, on the other hand, was lamenting the lack of in-person interactions.
Times have most certainly changed! Some mornings, still in my pajamas, I can meet with people who are living in a number of states across the country! It was not so long ago that such a meeting would have required airline travel and hotel stays. Now, it takes the commute from my bedroom to my office, and the push of a button, utilizing a strong internet signal to do the rest. It is a plus in our rapidly changing, technologically advanced world, but now I wonder about some of those people playing Hollywood Squares on my computer screen. Do they, like my lonely friend, ever leave their house?
For most of my life, I have identified as a social butterfly. I was made aware of my need to commune as early as the sixth grade when that term appeared on one of my report cards. “Hollie is more interested in being a social butterfly than she is in actually doing her work,” or something to that effect. The teacher made it sound like it was a bad thing!
Connecting with other humans is an important part of who we are as a species. For decades, I said yes to most social invitations but also to work related events. I went to public meetings, served on committees, volunteered for nonprofits, kept a robust social calendar, and generally found myself working and playing with others, often.
I often blame the pandemic and the aftermath of the pandemic, but something has shifted inside of me. I hate to think it is my age, but it may be just that. I am slowing down and enjoying time in front of the television with my husband. I barely recognize myself! Not long ago, I spent an entire week at home! I barely went outside! It was a stretch of winter weather and I simply decided to hunker down. My pantry was stocked, and my calendar was empty. I turned down an invitation or two. Working from home, I only saw those people who appeared on my screen during meetings. It was fine. As soon as I started to feel a bit antsy, I made a call and met up with some friends. But again, who am I? Or more accurately, who have I become?
My work life is varied, and I feel truly fortunate to have the luxury of working from home some of the time, but that it also requires in person meetings with others, some travel and that there are a variety of tasks associated with my career(s). It got me thinking about others who may not be living a life so varied. And, it made me think of those living in isolation.
I can see how easy it would be to never leave the house and never see other humans. Every tangible need can be delivered to our front doorstep, (or mailbox)! While convenient, I am wondering about the psychological aspects. Certainly, technology allows for more creative and diverse work options, but it can also perpetuate isolation and loneliness.
While enjoying the camaraderie of my co-workers at an on-site event I was struck by the paradoxical life I relish. On the heels of that week of self-isolation, I found myself in the midst of a multi-day conference, among hundreds of others. There, I witnessed the many benefits of in-person meetings. I saw organic conversations taking place in hallways and buffet lines. There were short interactions of colleagues who were just meeting face to face for the first time, or for the first time in a while. And just as importantly, there was a lot of laughter.
I genuinely believe that we, as human beings, are created to interact with one another. We need the face to face. We crave connection. Social isolation and its partner, loneliness, are simply not good for us as a species. Those factors are linked to a variety of maladies, including high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, obesity, a weakened immune system, type 2 diabetes, anxiety, depression, cognitive decline, Alzheimer's disease, and even death.
On the flip side, socialization is associated with slowing cognitive decline, boosting mood and happiness, reducing the risk of chronic disease, and improving our overall quality of life and well-being.
Given that medical evidence, I would encourage anyone feeling isolated or lonely to reach out to a neighbor or a friend and commit to regular check-ins or other interactions – possibly a weekly card or board game, a short walk each evening, if just around the block, or a coffee date -- in home or out. Start small, if you must, but start. If getting out is not an option, there are nonprofits who can offer an in-home visit, and several organizations will arrange for a regular phone call. Resources are out there, but it does start with you!
For someone who could not stand the thought of spending two nights in a row at home to the person I am today, I understand how much easier doing nothing and going nowhere can be, but for the sake of a long and healthy life, I encourage you to find one thing away from home that you enjoy doing and go do it!
One of my favorite quotes comes from writer, Anais Nin, who said, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
This social butterfly is here to tell you, you do not have to be alone. Spring is here and warmer days are just ahead. Get out there and blossom!
xo, Hollie
