Relative Retirement
Grey and wet winter days have me longing for summer. The paradox of trying to live in the moment and future thinking has a grip on me as I exist in a holding pattern, waiting on the promise of more daylight, less precipitation, and warmer temperatures.
I respect the importance of a good snowpack, but that doesn't mean I have to enjoy it! Oddly, I hear from my kids who tell me they don’t mind an overcast day or a little rain, especially at the beach – ahhh, the beach! I am a strong believer that any day at the beach is a good day, so I will give them that, but my first choice will always be a hot, sunny day.
As my daydreaming meandered away from the weather, I began to think about what retirement might look like. On a cold and rainy day, I might simply curl up in front of the fire with a hot beverage and read for hours and hours. Some of my favorite adventures have been supplied by great writers. Won’t that be nice? But I am not there yet.
My hope is to live a long, long life. Looking at my family lineage, my chances are pretty good. Though none of my grandparents, aunts, uncles, or parents made it 100 years in this realm, most were active until the end. My gene pool comes with a little heart disease, some diabetes, a smattering of Alzheimer’s—but most of my elders were living vibrantly on their own through their mid-80’s. I hope to be at least among their ranks, also living vibrantly into my 80’s, but hopefully, even longer, with a sound mind, body, and spirit.
These days my fear is not so much ailments as it is outliving the money. Modern medicine and medical advancements keep coming, which is great news in many respects, but I am not sure my husband and I will be able to afford it! Our financial advisor has shown projections with us living into our 90’s and, currently, there is a shortfall.
Even without any major medical issues, how are we expected to pay for all this living we have ahead of us? Good health and good living are our goals, and I plan to spend these last decades adventuring.
A long life could mean a long retirement. As the youngest of seven children, I look to my older siblings to see how they are doing it, and I am a bit concerned. They appear to be retired to living on conservative paths—not a lot of travel, two international journeys between them. It appears the “how can you just stay home” gene was saved for me!
I do hear about occasional plans for a few days at the beach or a weekend gambling in Sin City. Once, my brother and sister-in-law spent a few weeks travelling coast to coast, which was a grand adventure for them and afforded me time to show off my community, when a leg of their journey brought them to my driveway. Some good memories, there!
Mostly, they have not ventured to many places beyond our hometown, or much past the homes they settled into after finding a spouse—the desert for one, the flat lands in a fly over state for another. My siblings simply do not appear to be all that adventurous. They are living in the day-to-day existence of long marriages, with their families raised, and are deeply rooted. That is another type of venture altogether.
Maybe they are simply trying to make sure they don’t outlive their money as well!
Still, I find myself unsettled with their choices to “stay put”, while there is still so much of the planet left to explore. In my opinion, many of my relatives appear to be relatively content, but have let go of their dreams or have forgotten the aspirations of their younger selves. Or maybe, just maybe, what I have described is exactly how they envisioned retirement and are quite happy with the choice. So be it!
Postcards from exotic places will come from friends and my offspring. My kids, or maybe it is their generation, see the world as a tiny place with borders that are meant to be crossed! I am happy for them.
I was born with a wanderlust. I have travelled but not nearly enough. Mostly, I work -- a lot. The beauty comes when my work requires travel and I’m able to tack a day or two to the end of the trip to enjoy the area once the work is complete. That does not occur nearly as often as I would like.
Days can easily fill up with the “have to” and not the “want to”, but happiness is a state of mind, and age is just a number. I think curiosity keeps us alive. Having something to look forward to has been proven to be good for us. Studies have shown the planning of an event can be as beneficial as the actual doing. To that end, I call on each of us to get a bucket and make a list. Commit to crossing one item off each year, if not more frequently.
For some, that may be ambitious items like visiting every national park or hiking the Appalachian trail. For others, it may be watching every episode of Grey’s Anatomy or reading every Stephen King novel.
My hope is to stop working while I am healthy enough to venture, or that my work and my adventures will coexist.
Now that is a retirement plan, I can get behind! It is not up to me to judge – though clearly, I do - what is important is to spend these days doing what feels good and what feels good to me is likely different from what feels good to you. It’s all relative.
xo, Hollie
