A Time to Purge

There are so many things that happen to the aging body for which many of us seem wholly unprepared. When I mention a bad knee or aching back, my senior friends and family members will occasionally throw the illuminating, “Oh, just wait!” adage my way, but mostly those “of a certain age” tend to keep the specifics to themselves. Personally, I could use a few more details.

I only recently discovered that my body might have begun producing the “time to purge” hormone. Some of my pals who have hit 80 might have mentioned it. I believe this drops, in some humans, after they begin living their seventh decade. Some get a huge dose of it, while others are lacking it altogether. While I am no geneticist (nor am I a biochemist), it seems this biological need to get rid of all unnecessary accumulated items may come later for some, and never for others. It is preceded by the “time to accumulate” hormone which, in our society, for many, drops within the first 24 months after birth.

Unlike other hormones, such as estrogen, the “time to purge” cannot be replaced with bioidentical supplements. Either you have it, or you don’t, though the level of intensity varies. I seem to be producing at an entry level. The onset came about a year ago, but the force is not yet strong enough to move me into action.

Conversely, the “need to accumulate” hormone is now critically low. The timing of the two – time to purge versus need to accumulate—is critical. Too much of one without enough of the other and you can almost count on chaos.

Historically, I have been an accumulator. This may not be hormonal, but rather, genetic. That gene is strong! I also grew up in poverty, so not only was gathering vital for my very survival, it also came with a serious amount of anxiety, should I perceive any ancillary waste.

I lost the ability to waste things – anything – a long time ago. I am certain I can find a use for just about any item thrown my way and is explanation for a giant bag filled with reusable gift bags, tops to Tupperware with bottoms I haven’t seen in a decade, enough rubber bands to create a basketball, a file cabinet drawer of partially to never used notebooks, post-its and envelopes and at least one hundred pens. In my defense, these are practical tools which I will, I am certain, use. Eventually.

The “urge to purge” has come on slowly, but it is happening. Suddenly, I feel the inclination to get rid of all this junk! I can feel this new hormone coursing through my veins! Yes, I can toss all my receipts from 1989! I also have boxes and boxes of old financial records, kids school papers, old birthday cards and letters and general memorabilia filling up closets and storage areas. Yes, it is okay to dump the dozens of name badges saved from attending a variety of conferences. Say goodbye to the kid’s art projects from 2nd grade. If they don’t want them, why am I holding onto them?

I think the natural order of things is to accumulate for a few decades and then, as we get closer to qualifying for Medicare, we realize the time to gather is past and it is now time to toss away. This or a move will trigger the onset of this little-known hormone! I have watched a couple of friends move decades of accumulated goods recently and something biological has been triggered.

I look at various shelves throughout the house lovingly decorated with tchotchkes and think, this stuff needs to go! I can’t leave my kids with the burden of disposing of my memories! Do they want any of this stuff? A glass dolphin from Monterey, a wooden ship captain from that trip to Alaska, a sculpture of an Eagle given to one of the kids in grade school – they collect dust and not much more then that. Time to go!

The hormone does seem to suffer from a few blockers. Books appear to have immunity.

I have a library of books. Right now, many of them are in boxes in a spare room, waiting for the day my husband and I purchase our lake or beach house where I will line the walls with bookshelves and spend summer nights reading and re-reading these many tomes. That is the dream. Though the “time to purge” hormone courses through my veins, I am still not ready to say goodbye to these old friends – some I have not yet met. I have the self-help, biography and fiction sections covered. There is also every diet book every published and an ungodly number of cookbooks to consider. My husband insists on keeping college textbooks. I personally do not believe I will ever be in the mood to peruse “Advanced Calculus”, but you never know the interest of those who may come to visit at our fantasy waterfront retreat. So, the ridding of things hormones may be selective.

Aside from books there are plenty of other items to say goodbye to and as I stroll through memory lane, I feel a spike in the purge, and do exactly that. Lots of goodbyes, failing the Marie Conde “spark joy” test, but it feels surprisingly satisfying!

And then there are the photographs. Boxes and boxes of photographs and of course, (empty) photo albums… because you KNOW that any day now, I am going to organize those thousands of prints and put them into neatly arranged books. I’ve had the empty albums ready to go for a while now but so far, I have barely made it past the tossing of duplicates phase. Maybe there is a hormone for that too, I am just not yet old enough to feel it.

xo, Hollie